Maturity

 A mature person is one who does not think only in absolutes, who is able to be objective even when deeply stirred emotionally, who has learned that there is both good and bad in all people and all things, and who walks humbly and deals charitably. ~ By Eleanor Roosevelt

The world seems to be filled with immature and drama driven people.  Webster defines immature as: lacking complete growth, differentiation, or development.  I think the immature lack consciousness or awareness.  They cannot truly see themselves through others’ eyes.  They only see what is being done to them and how others have contributed to their problems.  They rarely see how they have created their own life. To be a mature adult means to live with integrity, responsibility, and be reflective about our life and choices. 

To live with integrity is to live honestly with moral and ethical character.  To live responsibly is to always do what needs to be done and accept that our choices have put us where we are.  Where ever we go, there we will be.  You cannot live responsibly and blame others at the same time.  We all have people and experiences in our lives that have been damaging, but it is how we chose to let those experiences affect us that are important.  Also, to be a mature adult requires reflection.  Reflection is simply to be able to look at ourselves, our actions, and our circumstances and think about them deeply.  Also, as a mature adult, I believe we can make a conscious choice of who we want to be and how we want to live.  We can pick quality friends to be in our life; we can treat others like we want to be treated; we can stop blaming others for our circumstances; we can stop being petty and understand what is important in life.  We can also make a plan for our lives and what we want it to look like, and then move forward on it.  What actions need to take place to get to where we want to be?  Where ever we go, there we will be.

But very importantly, we need to stop our anger.  We are a petty culture.  Maybe it is time to give others the benefit of the doubt, stop assuming the worst, and be the kind of person we would want to be friends with.  Anger just gets in the way, muddles up our relationships, and hinders us in emotional growth.  It take valuable energy that could and should be allocated for family, work, friends, and lifting ourselves up to the highest level.  So whatever is going on in your life that is causing you to whine, complain, or blame--build a bridge and get over it.

Friendship

“Friendship," said Christopher Robin, "is a very comforting thing to have.”

Christopher Robin (A.A. Milne)

I have been thinking a great deal about friendship lately.  Sometimes it is like a wisp of fluff in the air, the harder you try to grab it, the further away it flies, and sometimes it is solid, concrete, there to last a lifetime.  But why do we, as women, often treat our friends so cruelly.  We talk behind each others' back; we comment our each others' hips, thighs, or breasts, not to mention clothes, makeup, and habits.  We steal each others' boyfriends and husbands and we judge, judge, judge.  The younger we are, the meaner we are.  Thank God with age we often soften a bit, become a bit more generous, understanding, and accepting.  But what we need to learn and do is to remember we are life-sisters.  We should be supporting, encouraging, and sharing with each other.  We should be lifting each other to the highest level attainable.  We should be the shoulder to cry on, the ears to listen with, and the voice of reason.  The quote above from Christopher Robin, and by the way I have found almost everything you need to know in life you can learn from A.A. Milne, is one we should live by.  I know I love my sister (I love my brother too).  She, in fact, is my best friend.  I vow to make every effort to show love and support to all of my life-sisters.

Rides

Sometimes we want adventure and excitement in our life, but sometimes we just want to ride the merry-go-round.  It goes around and around but it goes slowly and smoothly.  There aren’t jolts or unexpected turns.  But alas, we often end up on the damn roller coaster whether we want to or not.  It goes too fast; it has sharp turns that makes us feel like we are going to fly out of our car; it has long deep dips that make your stomach do flip flops.  It makes you feel out of control. The roller coaster can be exhilarating, but if you are on it too long you will barf.  The man that runs it can’t see you and doesn’t hear you screaming, because everyone else is screaming too.  When you wiz by with your hands flailing in the air to get his attention, he just smiles.  When you finally get off the roller coaster you will notice you look and feel like hell and you might have peed yourself too.  Thank you for the roller coaster ride these past several years.  I think I will stick to the merry-go-round for now.  Maybe if I get adventurous, I will try the Ferris wheel.